(Night's Watch voice): Aye, #fyrefest was a nightmare made real. (beat) But then came the thinkpieces.
Just had tiny explosives planted in my neck. About to fly a glider into #fyrefest to rescue the https://t.co/gMJboQj5II webmaster.
I'll like you I'll "@" you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna RT you -- Tweetloaf
Me too. And kinda disappointed in humanity. https://t.co/2eyFdhwyiL
It's like hurricane winds outside tonight. And I got a pool party tomorrow. Anyone know a wig shop I can trust?

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EVENTS

Sunday
April 30
  
8 PM

Patton Oswalt & Friends

LOS ANGELES, CA
Largo at the Coronet

Tuesday
May 02
  
7:30PM

Patton Oswalt

PORTLAND, OR
The Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

Sunday
May 21
  
8 PM

Patton Oswalt & Friends

LOS ANGELES, CA
Largo at the Coronet

Monday
May 22
  
8 PM

Patton Oswalt

IRVINE, CA
Irvine Improv

Tuesday
May 23
  
8 PM

Patton Oswalt

IRVINE, CA
Irvine Improv

Friday
June 02
  
7 PM & 10 PM

Patton Oswalt

CHICAGO, IL
Athenaeum Theatre