Oh God John, no. NO. Fight it. FIGHT IT. We worked on this in our "Yoga For Pretentious Douchebags" seminar. https://t.co/1lRaPC3yBC
Unless you're fusing them into bird claws in the process of becoming my unholy Falcon-Man Of The Night I don't care. https://t.co/FtTBjWWdSZ
SHUT UP JOHN LURIE THAT'S WHY https://t.co/vB7kuzoVMg
We;re getting there. Keep cool, you old perv. https://t.co/qp5aESiIoc
No. Brian. NO. Tell your wife to make you some warm milk and go to bed. This is another 96-hour Red Vines bender. https://t.co/Gp6TcuiVfN

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Tue, May 25


COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY: SLOPPY AND DESPERATE

@ 3:29 PM

Brian Corman apologized to me. Flat-out admitted his thievery, his stupidity. Owned it all. Good man. Still makes me wonder what he might have done to become valedictorian — I mean, if he’s willing to steal material for something as inconsequential as a speech, how rubbery did his boundaries become when his GPA and future career were on the line? Oh well.

I’ve taken the video down from my site, since it’s already all over the fucking internet. Mr. Corman alluded to Columbia students always taking the “hard road” in his speech. Welcome to the hard road, Bri-Bri.

And Columbia University, with its “high standards”, has honorably re-posted video of the speech on YouTube after briefly taking it down. They added this disclaimer, seen here in a screen grab:



Yep. Two spellings of my name. High standards, indeed. Did the salutatorian smash a watermelon?



 
 
   
   
   
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