In light of the Draft Kings scandal, I may as well admit that in 1981 I paid my DM $15 so that my ranger "found" a Vorpal Sword.
THAT's the reason I overreacted to the Luke The Mac 'n' Cheese Frat Douche! I HAAAAATE service people getting shit on. Hate. It.
If anything, let's hope Luke The Mac 'n' Cheese Frat Douche learns this crucial lesson:
.@NickAmadeus That's probably 'cuz the manager's a to-his-core good guy. Something Luke probably can't understand and further enraged him.
.@HumanPackAnimal @shanenickerson That moment was especially hateful.

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Tue, May 25


@ 3:29 PM

Brian Corman apologized to me. Flat-out admitted his thievery, his stupidity. Owned it all. Good man. Still makes me wonder what he might have done to become valedictorian — I mean, if he’s willing to steal material for something as inconsequential as a speech, how rubbery did his boundaries become when his GPA and future career were on the line? Oh well.

I’ve taken the video down from my site, since it’s already all over the fucking internet. Mr. Corman alluded to Columbia students always taking the “hard road” in his speech. Welcome to the hard road, Bri-Bri.

And Columbia University, with its “high standards”, has honorably re-posted video of the speech on YouTube after briefly taking it down. They added this disclaimer, seen here in a screen grab:

Yep. Two spellings of my name. High standards, indeed. Did the salutatorian smash a watermelon?

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