.@CharltonV Get another job?
Oh God, Tim & Eric's BEDTIME STORIES premieres tonight. Watch this fucking trailer. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING: http://t.co/yV4ORIf7mk
.@KeyAndPeele And you even got the "lens flare" in there. I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS.
In just a few hours we're gonna know whether Scotland chose "ach" or "fook off ye pasty coont." #topical
If Scotland votes "no" they might really mean "yes"! The @rushlimbaugh show will help you tell the difference! (sponsored Tweet)

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Fri, Apr 22


The Comedians of Comedy 2005 Spring Tour:
You Know What I Love? Cracker Barrel!

@ 12:00 AM

  

We've stopped for breakfast twice now at Crackers Barrels on the road. And you know what? Cracker Barrel fucking rules. Great food, good hospitality. Awesome biscuits. I even bought a candle that smells like "clean cotton", which I burn in my hotel rooms, all of which are scented "sad trucker".

  

Cracker Barrels have those "genius peg" puzzles, where you jump pegs, and try to just have one left. Brian and I both got down to two pegs ("purty smart") but Dave managed to leave only one ("genius"). Look how happy he is. Then he pooed. With his pants still on.

We also stopped for pecans (Brian bought peanut brittle like an old woman). I wanted to make fun of him, but then I remembered all the hassle I put our sweet Cracker Barrel waitress through getting a pot of Darjeeling Tea.

  

Oh, I also want to thank the winsome Eugene Mirman for joining us in Orlando, and everyone who bought us scotch next door afterward.

Brian, Zach and I are going to be here at Criminal Records for a few more hours. We're all doing deejaying with our iPods. Brian's playing Toby Keith's "Taliban Song". "...we'll show our boner to/The Taliban". Wooooooooo!

Thanks for whoever bought us pizza just now.

  



 
 
   
   
   
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