If you can, see DR. STRANGE in 3D. What a fun, scary mindfuck of a Marvel movie. GREAT job, @scottderrickson.
Donald Trump is like if Rodney Dangerfield's character in CADDYSHACK was written by Uwe Boll.
Look at this hateful asshole. Seen it at a hundred open mikes -- a trust fund jock wannabe who thinks he deserves t… https://t.co/i1EZupcSWX
No sign yet of Peter Hooten! https://t.co/JAcdWGIugo
Us pop divas have got to stick together. https://t.co/qBQoTFUX9x

Join the List!


Page 87 of 89 posts   |  View Archive   
Jump to:

Fri, Sep 24


@ 12:00 AM


I'm staying at maybe one of the most barebones, plastic-cups-and-rough-towels motels in Eugene, and yet they STILL have wireless internet that blankets the premises like the caramel murmurs of a Capri whore. I'm writing, photographing, and sending this from the "veranda" (three wrought-iron picnic tables near the second floor snack machines) an hour before tonight's show.

I've got my feet up on a bizarre lion's head fountain which serves no purpose except to fool me into thinking I'm making the most of the eastern Oregon "magic hour". I'm two pony shots into a bottle of single malt, 15 year-old Balvenie (in-cask date: August 18th, 1988—exactly ONE month after I started stand-up comedy) and almost finished with Gary Giddins' un-put-downable critical biography of Louis Armstrong.

I don't own any Armstrong records. I'm not a fan of jazz. But one chapter into this fucker, and I want to hear everything Dippermouth every recorded. I'm chasing the Balvenie with generic "Classic Selection" spring water.

Beauty and happiness can mug you in an Olive Garden restaurant, I'm starting to realize.

Jump to: