Dear Patton: Pouring bowl of Cheetos, re-sealing bag, eating Cheetos & repeating 'til bag is empty is why I don't exist. -- 80 year-old you
The poster for my 1/7/15 Boston show by @eyenoise is gorgeous and just $15! http://t.co/tKUqBrvhIS
Enjoy this tender, delightful moment from the upcoming season of THE HEART, SHE HOLLER: http://t.co/tD3LFzmqlk
Mike Nichols is at the back of Death's bus, smiling wryly, wondering what's next as he rides into the ether. #RIPMikeNichols
Wait, does this effect Dr. Julius Hibbert on THE SIMPSONS? Kinda not joking here...

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Mon, Mar 17


PATTON''S BARGAIN BLURB BASEMENT

@ 5:21 PM

I just wrote yet another blurb for a friend's forthcoming book.     So far, I've only blurbed books I've actually read and enjoyed.

But I'm facing down four or five months of constant travel, film acting work, and writing under deadline.    I don't think I'm going to have time to honor any forthcoming blurb or review requests.

Until then, please feel free to use any of the following all-purpose blurbs:



"A delicious mocha-swirl of Wallace Stevens, Judy Blume and Tom Clancy!"

"Jesus brain-raping Christ, I loved these Christmas poems!"

"A literal roller-coaster ride!"

"Haunting...literally!"

"Black type-set words printed on white paper...literally!"

"Staten Island is bitterly cold, bleak, and 100% attraction-free!   A must!"

"Manages to evoke the British defeat at Ticonderoga, the stench of rotted crab legs, and Robert Loggia's voice!"

"Passably competent!"

"I'm yelling at nothing while I write this!    Here what it sounds like:   Blaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!"

"Why?  Dear God, WHY?!?"



 
 
   
   
   
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