"When your mom dies you're the best memory of her. Everything you do is a memory of her." -- Alice Oswalt, 7
She wrote lines that stung & hummed. 13 years in her presence was happily humbling. #RIPMichelleMcNamara https://t.co/bSYWFFD8NY
There will never, EVER, be a replacement for Prince. God knows I tried. https://t.co/DyedoBEJyO
Dear #Grammys: Let Willie Nelson do the Prince tribute and Lady Gaga do the Merle Haggard one. Not joking. Show how universal they were.
"Prince died? Welp, guess it's up to me now." -- Jimmy Buffett, probably.

Join the List!

SPEW

Page 37 of 89 posts   |  View Archive   
   
   
   
Jump to:
 

Mon, Mar 17


PATTON''S BARGAIN BLURB BASEMENT

@ 5:21 PM

I just wrote yet another blurb for a friend's forthcoming book.     So far, I've only blurbed books I've actually read and enjoyed.

But I'm facing down four or five months of constant travel, film acting work, and writing under deadline.    I don't think I'm going to have time to honor any forthcoming blurb or review requests.

Until then, please feel free to use any of the following all-purpose blurbs:



"A delicious mocha-swirl of Wallace Stevens, Judy Blume and Tom Clancy!"

"Jesus brain-raping Christ, I loved these Christmas poems!"

"A literal roller-coaster ride!"

"Haunting...literally!"

"Black type-set words printed on white paper...literally!"

"Staten Island is bitterly cold, bleak, and 100% attraction-free!   A must!"

"Manages to evoke the British defeat at Ticonderoga, the stench of rotted crab legs, and Robert Loggia's voice!"

"Passably competent!"

"I'm yelling at nothing while I write this!    Here what it sounds like:   Blaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!"

"Why?  Dear God, WHY?!?"



 
 
   
   
   
Jump to: