Hey John Waters: I'm at Salt on Pratt St. in Butcher's Hill. I'll be here for the next hour. Drop in, I'll buy you a Clear Eye Susan.
.@CharltonV Get another job?
Oh God, Tim & Eric's BEDTIME STORIES premieres tonight. Watch this fucking trailer. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING: http://t.co/yV4ORIf7mk
.@KeyAndPeele And you even got the "lens flare" in there. I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS.
In just a few hours we're gonna know whether Scotland chose "ach" or "fook off ye pasty coont." #topical

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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