(Night's Watch voice): Aye, #fyrefest was a nightmare made real. (beat) But then came the thinkpieces.
Just had tiny explosives planted in my neck. About to fly a glider into #fyrefest to rescue the https://t.co/gMJboQj5II webmaster.
I'll like you I'll "@" you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna RT you -- Tweetloaf
Me too. And kinda disappointed in humanity. https://t.co/2eyFdhwyiL
It's like hurricane winds outside tonight. And I got a pool party tomorrow. Anyone know a wig shop I can trust?

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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