I am truly thankful for: still having episodes of FOYLE'S WAR to watch while I crawl out of this nightmare.
They're ALMOND butter and my mom is super-proud of them so now who's the loser? #yaburnt https://t.co/RYhuXgJMjE
One of my daughters sketch books already contains better election coverage than @CNN: https://t.co/ibsQiuCQvA
"We've got company" -- mercenaries in action movies/my grandma in real life
Whoa! I never thought of that. Puts a new spin on the "pair of .45s" lyric. https://t.co/8ZM85gNQzc

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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