Welp, I'm flying to an island today. See you guys on April 1st! #aloha
Yeah, slow down when you see that green light. Niiiiice & easy, and you can...THERE you go! You made the red light. Whew! #asshole
Dear @GreyhoundBus: Are you also doing a Starbucks "race dialogue" thing? There's a pantless woman in your Boise terminal yelling, "Jews!"
REQUIRED LISTENING. Thank you, @billburr: http://t.co/QQWhnHAx6y
@OfficialKat Of of Los Angeles is an artificial sunlight-filled box.

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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