.@be3n I usually find a sushi restaurant near the venue and put strychnine in the edamame.
I'm a sober, responsible dad & hubby in the streets and a spooooky ghost in the sheets! Lookit me! I'm a ghoooooost!!! #sexy #boo
ALL TEN of my upcoming shows now on sale! NYC, Boston, Phoenix, Philly, Portland & lots more! Go here: http://t.co/cMQSwFtLNW
"Here's 20 Vicodin. Try to stop carrying people at the beach." -- Jesus' chiropractor
If a psychokiller cut the power in my house just now & then turned it back on I will totally live-Tweet my murder & be EXTRA snarky

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Patton Oswalt - No Reason to Complain (Uncensored)

$13.99

Stand-up special from Patton Oswalt.

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