I'm going to start this list of 31 with the super-short "The Clock". It's rendered in the style of a dopey, well-meaning schoolgirl -- a sort of turn-of-the-century Jessica Simpson -- writing a letter to her aunt in Italy. Of course, this is a woman...

    Who is peeing on the library books at the Cahokia Library? That was the lead story on the local news when I checked into my hotel room here in Youngstown, Ohio ("More Depressing Than Akron!") for a fabulous two night run at the Funny Farm. People who...