PATTON'S BARGAIN BLURB BASEMENT
3.17.2008

I just wrote yet another blurb for a friend's forthcoming book.     So far, I've only blurbed books I've actually written and enjoyed.

But I'm facing down four or five months of constant travel, film acting work, and writing under deadline.    I don't think I'm going to have time to honor any forthcoming blurb or review requests.

Until then, please feel free to use any of the following all-purpose blurbs:



"A delicious mocha-swirl of Wallace Stevens, Judy Blume and Tom Clancy!"

"Jesus brain-raping Christ, I loved these Christmas poems!"

"A literal roller-coaster ride!"

"Haunting...literally!"

"Black type-set words printed on white paper...literally!"

"Staten Island is bitterly cold, bleak, and 100% attraction-free!   A must!"

"Manages to evoke the British defeat at Ticonderoga, the stench of rotted crab legs, and Robert Loggia's voice!"

"Passably competent!"

"I'm yelling at nothing while I write this!    Here what it sounds like:   Blaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!"

"Why?  Dear God, WHY?!?"